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Never Here for Long

by June Body

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    Gatefold case with fancy picture disc and lyric booklet. Album photography by Alexander Callaghan, and band photography by Jordan Haines.

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1.
Far from my middle I got a little bit scared and knew I might not be here for long I slowed my pace I saw the look on your face and knew I’m never here for long
2.
Ember 03:26
I have the skills to lie to my therapist So I pay the bill for what’s inside I have the skills To lie to the one I lay beside I was five I was barely alive Too stubborn to even want to go outside Twenty years later and it’s amplified I could care less about my life But you’ll miss the point ‘Cause I won’t check out now And if the breaking point isn’t now Then flip a coin forever I was banking on a miracle Sunday I was begging you for more time But every wish that ever comes true Will burn down to an ember in my mind I have the skills to lie to my therapist So I pay the bill for what’s inside I have the skills To lie to the one I lay beside I’m a dive At face-value I’m fine The smell of burning rubber Is from the top of my spine And when I sing it seems amplified That I could care less about my life But you’ll miss the point ‘Cause I won’t check out now And if the breaking point isn’t now Then flip a coin forever I was banking on a miracle Sunday I was begging you for more time But every wish that ever comes true Will burn down to an ember in my mind I became fixed on the idea of “someday” I was flanking it from both sides But every wish that ever comes true Will burn down to an ember in my mind
3.
I awoke from the most grotesque dream I was a bundle of tangled string Pulling me up I brought the worst with me Sitting here as if days on end could go by Taking too much Giving too little All caught up in this mysticism Finding meaning in nothingness Is only deep for a time ‘Till it starts reading like I’m wasting mine
4.
Glimmer 04:07
You watched me wander off Into a dark forest Through the window in your bedroom It’s a bit too scary in there for you I know, it is for me too If I found a middle Baby, we’d be safe But I’m too busy Trying to make my way out of here I remember that glimmer from the scene When I could tell You knew you could love me Forever, for better or for worse Starry night Which one’s mine? I couldn’t care less Turn out the light This wavering, tapering grace Is all I chalk myself up to now
5.
I Fall 03:46
When you called me down I came, but only to hover over you I said I’d never step On the same soil as the rest And like a ghost does I haunt your every move You always rounded that corner tight But now you’ve got a different route Well so do I Detonating my life Switching masks for every situation Self-awareness such a gross exaggeration now I fall I fall directly into the grave When you calmed me down I just slouched my back Went out for a while And hung my raincoat on the rack When I walk through walls Nobody even stares ‘Cause I’m unseen Yeah, but that was the prayer I fall I fall directly into the grave
6.
Flickering 02:41
I woke up on a day like any other But a star had moved out of the sky So I flashed back to every moment in the past I could have changed to save his life I woke up to a call from my mother As she spoke I could hear her cry She begged me to call her any time Even if it meant goodbye In every way now There’s pain that can’t be seen Hidden deep down Your brain’s flickering gleam No one ever sees this coming But I saw the sufferance for years Now I can hear him ringing in my ears I can hear him so clearly In every way now There’s pain that can’t be seen Hidden deep down Your brain’s flickering gleam Sometimes a deer makes you swerve into traffic Sometimes the world sucks away all the magic You were beautiful You were loved I miss you I can hear you so clearly And every day now There’s pain that can’t be seen Hidden deep down now Your brain’s flickering gleam
7.
Brightness 04:30
My shadow burns hotter into the frame Than the body it shapes Brightness does fall off But you knew her song You found a way to keep it close enough I crystallize this heart, this soul In a way that’s typical I build the waves to play in, drown in I dig my holes I never even got close to home: The lighthouse, the pull, the plan in full Brightness does fall off But you knew her song You found a way to keep it close enough And like this mental fog Of rain that fell so long I’ll find a way to stay above the surface, love When I walked you home Dreamt I’d rather be alone And before I knew it I was sinking deeper into my side of the bed
8.
Will you just bleed inside Or will you try to suck life? It’s a question you’ll have to answer in time So just change your ways And do it for love I gave up a piece of my heart So don’t push it away But I thought only damage was art So I don’t blame you for turning away I take up too much space to be fed
9.
Wanting something more I’m headed for the door, of course To fight a new war While reading some horoscope That commits me to never getting better I’m watching this weather move just like me Where can I go, really? If I wouldn’t even know when I’m there This ain’t frame to frame There’s no dissolve And this? Just the fake-out I’ve always been Shoot you the thumbs up I’m okay to just devolve The mileage on my car Rising but falling far From what I thought that it would be As if these movements are defining No, they lead me astray I’m kicking up all of the dust that’s necessary To keep me fettered Endeavoured I’m watching this weather move just like me Where can I go, really? If I wouldn’t even know when I’m there This ain’t frame to frame There’s no dissolve And this? Just the fake-out I’ve always been Shoot you the thumbs up I’m okay to just devolve
10.
Were you hedging your bets ‘Cause you wished things were Like they were before? Will you find safety in someone Who doesn’t need to be saved anymore? I’m scared I’ll watch it from congested clouds And never come down Will anyone doubt why you chose to leave?
11.
Ashes 04:08
Go ahead, take down my name and my number Like they’re the only things left to identify me now Along with this flesh and blood; Enough to pull me under No science to tell me why or how Ashes at my door Evermore It’s crazy how every good thing feels like some reprieve So now I’ll sing that I don’t deserve this punishment today This cold doesn’t seem so unfamiliar I’m used to feeling it year-round I’ve been having trouble even stepping forward Like I’m not even here on the ground I was a droplet when the rain poured hard The one with a target who fell so far If there are drains to fill I’ll be an offering If there’s a cross to bear I’m always game

credits

released October 1, 2021

Connor James - guitar, lead vocals
Alexander Callaghan - bass, backing vocals
Jonny Renken - drums

All music and lyrics by Connor James and June Body
Mixed, mastered, and recorded by Alexander Callaghan
Drums engineered by Franc Lopes at Ocean Floor Recording, Halifax
Album photography by Alexander Callaghan
Band photography by Jordan Haines

Special thanks to CJ Jackson, Alex Boyd, Jordan Haines, Devin Gourley, Raf Finn

June Body recognizes the support of the Music Nova Scotia Investment Program and The Province of Nova Scotia.

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June Body Halifax, Nova Scotia

Alternative rock trio interested in hearts and brains.

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